The First Three Things You Should Do After Getting Engaged
Surprise... It Doesn’t Include Planning Your Wedding
Share the News In Person
Wait a few hours before posting that ring picture. Take some time to enjoy being newly engaged. Soak up the moment, order a second dessert, or take the long way home just to make it all last longer.
Take a few minutes to enjoy it as a couple. Then, call or tell your closest family and friends.
There is nothing like getting to experience your loved ones’ reaction to your engagement firsthand. Whether it’s your family or your closest friends, think about how you want to share the news. We are fans of the times where the newly engaged couple shows up at their friends’ house with a bottle of champagne and celebrates with them.
Take A Week (at least) Before Making Wedding Plans
Just as the two of you will have only one wedding (usually!), you two as a couple only get one engagement. Agree to a starting date for when you will begin making wedding plans- make it at least a week- preferably two to three weeks.
Wedding plans quickly become a major topic of conversation in your lives. Very soon, you will probably long for the days where you didn’t have to make a wedding decision, or for a date night without wedding details creeping in.
It is so exciting to think about how you want to celebrate, but you have plenty of time to discuss- even if you want to get married in four months.*
So what are you going to talk about instead of making wedding plans?
- Here are a few topics to get you talking:
- What surprises you about being engaged?
- What are the favorite reactions you’ve received?
- Retell each other the story of your engagement- ask what the other person was thinking, feeling or noticing.
- What first drew you to one another? What are your favorite things about each other?
Go out on your first date as an engaged couple.
It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it is essential to connect outside of your daily routine. Set aside a night to do something just the two of you- take a walk through your favorite park or area, grab takeout, or revisit the spot of your first date.
Your engagement takes your relationship to a new level of public. You will receive unsolicited advice, horror stories of all that can go wrong, and be asked who you will invite to your wedding. This comes from a place of love, but it is exhausting to have so much outside input about your relationship and plans.
Consequently, you need to continue to strengthen your relationship and know how to be a team together.
One thing my husband and I do in stressful situations is make bets or give out silly awards. For example, rather than worrying about how many times our children will spill at a restaurant, we make bets beforehand. We are then (almost) eager for them to spill more so one of us can win the bet.
If you are at a loss or overwhelmed, bring humor in and give private awards to the following categories:
- Worst Advice you have Received since Being Engaged
- Craziest Idea or Recommendation
- Most Awkward Interaction
Laugh together. A lot. The ability to put things in perspective and keep them there will get you through the wedding planning process.
You two are a team and are forming your own unique way of doing life. Keep defining who you are as a couple and learning how to support and love each other.
*We have helped several couples plan their weddings in four months or less. Short engagements are intense but there isn’t time to overthink your gut decisions. We are always up for a quick engagement!!